The simple act
of talking to yourself by using your own name, rather than thinking of yourself
as ‘I’, may help you control difficult or painful emotions more easily. Studies done at Michigan State
University and the University of Michigan, and published online in Scientific Reports in July, 2017, have
shown that such third person self-talk may constitute a relatively effortless form of
self-control.
Here’s an
example – Robin is feeling angry and hurt after and argument with a former
friend. Her ordinary thinking
would have involved inchoate feelings that, put into words, would revolve
around the pronoun ‘I’ – I’m so
mad at her – she was horrible to me – I’m feeling sick about what happened –
I’m going to give her a piece of my mind tomorrow etc.
However, if Robin
has trained herself to talk to herself in the third person, she might ask “I
see that Robin is very upset. How
can I help her understand what happened?
How can I help her feel better about this? What’s my advice to her?” Robin is giving advice to herself as she would to a
friend. This technique helps Robin
gain a tiny bit of psychological distance from her experience , which can be
helpful in regulating her emotions.
The researchers
on this study, which was funded by the National Institutes of Health and the
John Templeton Foundation, carried out two experiments to test the hypothesis
that third person thinking would help with stress. Participants – mainly healthy young men and women – viewed
neutral and then disturbing images and reacted to the images in both the first
and third person while their brain activity was monitored by an
electroencephalograph. When
reacting to a frightening image, their emotional brain activity decreased
almost immediately when they referred to themselves in the third person. The researchers found that using the
third person was no more effortful than using first person self-talk in terms
of effort related brain activity.
In the second
experiment, participants reflected on painful experiences from their past,
using first and third person languages while their brain activity was measured using
functional magnetic resonance imaging.
When they used third person self-talk, their brains showed less activity
in a region commonly implicated in reflecting on painful emotional
experiences. Again, third person
self-talk required no more effort-related brain activity than using first
person.
University of
Michigan psychology professor Ethan Kross, who directs the Emotion and
Self-Control Lab, had this to say about the studies: “What’s really exciting here is that the brain data from
these two complimentary experiments suggest that third person self-talk may
constitute a relatively effortless form of emotional regulation. If this ends up being true – we won’t
know until more research is done – there are lots of important implications
these findings have for our basic understanding of how self-control works, and
for how to help people control their emotions in daily life.” The research teams are continuing
to explore how third person self-talk compares to other emotion regulation
strategies.
I’ve been trying
out self-talk since reading about these studies, often silently, as I
experience painful emotions.
It’s interesting to call yourself by your own name, and give yourself
soothing and practical advice. I
have found that I can achieve balance with less despair or upset. Give it a try!
Sadja Greenwood, MD, MPH past issues on this blog
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